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TAB   "Particle In A Box"  -  16  COMMENTS  -  PAGE 1
Particle In A Box      [GP4]   [223 hits]   [Version: 1]   [Id: 105580]
Artist: Open Competition Feb 2009
File Size: 74.5 KB     Number of Tracks: 6
Submitted by: |_JR_|  (All tabs)  on 05 Feb 2009 16:23, commenting:
My first try at a comp - a superposition of metal and smoother rock. Feedback is very welcome!
Validated by blackiel on 05 Feb 2009 17:44


More Particle In A Box tabs @ 911tabs.com

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I liked the 2nd part... the smooth one... very nice harmony man ^^
and the ending... wooah... that was sick xD! in a good way ofcourse
the time signature freaked me out... 19/16!! crap... I couldnt even play that xD! but is good to try different things...I liked that thou ^^

Posted by OsoFromHell  {{ 0 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 05 Feb 2009 22:41

Rated as: Unrated

Metal... and smoother rock? This is like a prog-wanker's wet dream.

I'm klnd of left mouth wide open at this composition, but in a damn good way. I never really heard such a crazy, out there version of prog that I liked so much, if this song was a joke as you say, never write music seriously, please.

Somehow, this song has a very loose structure, but that idea at the beggining, bar 7, repeats a few times in the song, and serves as... one weird hook, but a hook nonetheless.

When I read that you wrote a bunch of unplayable solos I was expecting the worse but still, this song managed to keep me interested until the very end, so that in itself is very good.

Ground state had some good ideas, certainly the rhythm guitar - crazy riff. The biggest problem here is orchestration, notes clash left and right and I get the impression it's not always intended, it sounds a bit "out of whack".

Excited states is definitely my very favorite part of this composition, every single damn part of it leaves me in awe. One of the cool things you did in the solos is the fade ins, I like those. The downside of it was the bends, overused in this song, try to keep it a bit more tasteful ;).

Unstability and Decay was pretty good, but it paled in comparison to the previous section. Again, some note clashing, but it fits more the title of this part for it to be a bit unstable.

Interlude, is great, nothing more to mention.

Zero Point energy is great, really seems more thought out than the beggining, but it really gets great once the solo part says "make the string cry" at bar 126. That part really seemed like the most feeling-driven part in the song.

The end was oddly fitting for such an odd song, I actually liked it a lot.

So, for all the flaws and all the parts I thought clashed orchestration wise, something about this song just caught me and kept me interested, and that's what really marks a song above others to me. It's worth 4 stars, very nice. Write some more!

Posted by JazzDeath  {{ 22 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 06 Feb 2009 01:06

Rated as: Unrated
Wow, never thought I'd get such nice comments!

@JazzDeath: you're right, orchestration was my biggest issue with this piece. Actually, it was what made me do Excited States - in the beginning it when straight from riff 1 to riff 3, but the transition didn't sound right. The original intention was for it to be just a little bridge, but I got carried away... :D

As for the note-clashing, 99% of it is intended - a bit of influence from your own songs and maybe rumpy's (yes, I've been listening to them - that's what made me signed up in the first place!). Maybe I'm not quite getting the idea yet - it's really hard to do non-melodic!

Really, this whole song came by accident, when I opened guitar pro, clicked on some random notes and boom... there was the intro 19/16.

Gotta go listen to the other songs - thanks again!

Posted by |_JR_|  {{ 13 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 06 Feb 2009 04:47

Rated as: Unrated
good beginning
at part 1. it was a good riff but the pregression was not neccesary
2. it's funny good cohesion between riff notes, a solid part
nothing to say bout the bridge, maybe too contrastic
3. works really good, I liked the way the melody went building really fine
interlude is very very stereotypical xD I didn't like it
at least it kinds of finishes the first song which is just what 4. needed... that's a plus
4. is neat overall, except for the bass
the guitar lead at that part sounds actually inspired, I liked it
the ending was pretty fit for a way to break the whole song. although not a great ending, it does works with the whole theme.

overall I can say you know how to write a song and how to use gp. you got here a good song that anyone could get in and give it a listen with good results

yep, good luck with the scores

Rating 3.5

Posted by stockle  {{ 15 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 08 Feb 2009 16:27

Rated as: 
I am surprised I actually enjoyed that - I've never really been into prog myself, but this song for me never overstayed its welcome, so thats a plus no matter what.
Was wondering where on earth the song was going at the start, certainly caught my attention though, orchestra is more my preferred style to listen to.
Riffs were original (or at least I haven't heard anything similar to them), and I really like Ground State - nice mixture of dissonance, yet seems to still have a melody.
I have to say I'm pretty impressed, especially considering this is your first competition, and you've managed to make me listen to a full prog song voluntarily, so nice work.
4 stars.

Posted by Quibokk  {{ 16 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 10 Feb 2009 23:49

Rated as: Unrated
The intro is very nice. The rythym guitar for most of the song sound's quite

weird but you've paired it up very well with the lead guitar. The drums need

some work on Unstability and Decay i think. Zero-Point Energy is pretty

funky i must say, you've done that really well. It's a completely different song

to well... anything really, but i must say you've tabbed it really well and have

put a lot of thought into it.

3.5 stars

Posted by Spin  {{ 5 tabs / 1 corrections }}  on: 21 Feb 2009 22:15

Rated as: 
The intro kind of sounded like music for a nightmare :P

Ground state, though sounding weird sounds interesting. The lead guitar over it is quite good, fit’s the part nicely. From the Spanish melody part onwards in Excited States is my favourite part so far, really catchy.

The bridge is really catchy as well and leads into Instability & Decay nicely. Not much to say about Unstability, no problems from me on this riff. I notice that the interlude is similar to the ‘nightmare’ riff from the intro, but now it sounds like music for a good dream.

The relaxing riff of zero-point of energy certainly is a nice change to the song and you’ve managed to fit it in with the style of the song. The lead guitar that comes in near the end is a nice way to end that part.

The WTF Ending is really WTF. Though, I guess it does go with the song… But it’s just so weird O-O

3.5/5* from me

Posted by apzrman  {{ 7 tabs / 3 corrections }}  on: 22 Feb 2009 04:52

Rated as: Unrated
Something different, but very good. The title says it all, as I can just imagine that little particle zinging about in that box! The good bass track gave a good underlying feel, Drums were ok despite your F5 comment. Solos were ok but continuous soloing during Excited States got a bit tiresome. This was a well-thought through structure and atmosphere. The mix of madness and calm was just right. All sections were excellent but Zero Point Energy was particularly good. Ending was great. I liked it. Nice job.

Posted by blackiel  {{ 0 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 23 Feb 2009 15:16

Rated as: 
My favourite song from all. It evokes good feelings to me.
The progression of the song is perfect. Its lead really leads the song at every time and the composition has no complaints for me.
The end is surprising. I liked the idea of that chaotic ending.
Very good job!


Posted by MNC_Metal  {{ 4 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 25 Feb 2009 03:08

Rated as: Unrated
interesting and well executed use of 19/16 both in the intro and interlude. IMO the guitar work all the way through is well made, both the rhythm and lead one. The parts are well placed structurally, and overall this is an interesting piece. i really liked the calming interlude. nice song, well done


Posted by Shade Of Blue  {{ 15 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 27 Feb 2009 12:21

Rated as: 
Still wondering how you pulled of that 19/16... Great song dude.... Great soloing, although I know almost nothing about guitar soloing, but to me it sounds great, who cares if it is playable... There’s one thing I would change: the bridge... hte first half is excelent (59-60), but then 61-62 sounds a little empty, maybe the drums doing some stuff in the hi-hat would have helped, or the bass... (btw, the drums throught the song is great)... The end is a masterpiece, and no, it will not screw your ratings ;)

Rating 4.5

Posted by Todo Winterwolf  {{ 11 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 27 Feb 2009 17:51

Rated as: Unrated
Thre's nothing much I can add that the other guys said, except that this song blewed my freaking mind, though I'm not a big fan of nonsense virtuosism.
Every part is correct, nice backiing tracks, soloing was incredible and that 19/16 stuff flew terrific.

Rate: Good song, 4.0 for you

Posted by Daslaf  {{ 22 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 28 Feb 2009 15:56

Rated as: 
The dissonant intro was cool and interesting. Ground didn't really click with me. I feel its more of a personal thing than a composing thing. Excited pulled it all together for me and it was full of energy and was exciting. The bridge was nice and everything that followed fit together well. Zero point energy was my favorite part. I loved that bass line that went with and I thought the whole part evolved nicely. The ending set the mood for song was good and necessary imo.


Posted by daniel9388  {{ 33 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 01 Mar 2009 02:48

Rated as: 
|_JR_| - Particle in a Box

There’s a great deal of quality material in this song. Intro has a good vibe to it, nice. The first riff in 9/8 is pretty good, but the lead is a little boring here which is a shame since this is where you’re supposed to get hooked on the song. The lead just is a bit too much fast run, bended note, fast run, bended note, etc – even though you mix in triplets to make it seem a little more alive. Anyway excited states is where the song starts to shine. The chord progression is excellent and the lead is excellent as well, so good work there. The bridge part maybe drags on way too long with only guitars and then followed by the bass, and only THEN followed by the rest of the instruments again. This part seemed to break the flow of the song. Anyway, next part is kind of like the previous part in style, yet different. The chord progression didn’t make me go ‘wow’ though this time around. The interlude is pretty good too, nice way to reintroduce the intro with a different chord progression.

The next part is a little boring. It drags before the guitar comes in, and when it does the lead is kind of tame. When the clean guitar comes in, it gets a dose of emotion that wasn’t there before, and that helps the solo a little. Yet still this final solo section I seem to notice phrasings that aren’t so good, unnecessary things, etc. that I didn’t notice in the previous solos. The ending is fitting enough for the song, I think it concluded it in an ok way.

Now this song is pretty good, you managed to make it seem like a whole even though each part was different and only the intro got repeated with that fingerpicked pattern. This song was a positive surprise and had a lot of good parts in it, but you still have things to learn. Also at times the mixing could have been better I’m sure, but that’s a minor thing.

Rating 3.5

Posted by Beckkill  {{ 11 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 02 Mar 2009 09:12

Rated as: 
|_JR_| - Particle In A Box

Song starts... lol, 19/16. And even more lol when you pull it off, and it doesn't sound fake, only “engineered”, giving off a slight “mathy” feel with the odd rhythms and calculated dissonance. The specific structuring continues into ground state, and I'm surprised how something in such an odd time signature can be so oddly... groovy. Also, for future reference, quicker =/= better. Really. You can lay off the shred at times. I was tired of the wankfest even before it really got going, so to say. Personal objections against mindless technicality aside, your piece evolves away from the “engineered” feel of the beginning, excited states sound... excited :P you get this odd, happy vibe radiating from there, neat. Somewhere in there (think it was bar 41, don't kill me if I'm wrong) I notice somebody doing atonal tapping... and come to the conclusion that I'll have to do a little advertisement in the comment or I'll regret passing up the chance to convert a fellow musician into a Bucketbot... without further ado, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL7Gs-QiI90 and pay extra attention around 0:55-1:07. I purposefully picked a rather shreddy tune to keep you occupied and listening :P back to the song – no, the bridge did not have me thinking of Deep Purple. Unstability and decay... where'd the fun go? The excitement? The lead is just as over the top as it used to be, but now you're going for it in a sadder context. It's by no means bad, but I preferred the previous section. Still, the chord in bar 76 for president. Great stuff there, young fella :P the interlude is kind of strange, because it somehow manages to feel both like a cool-down, and in a weird way, a rehash of the happiness of the excited states section. How? No idea. Glad that it works though :P

Zero point energy... whoa, whoa, whoa, where'd this come from?! That's some cool stuff, dude! Really unexpected, but still, somehow fits. Now one sees the point of unstability and decay, so to say ;] I'm sitting there, tapping a toe along, smiling at the “instant gratification”... man, that vamp called for a slowhand solo. Really. You just shatter the mood by running around the strings, showing you mastered your scales. Congratulations, now master the art of the melodic solo, it really gives the song some wings when needed. You try at times, you actually bother to type “make the strings cry”... but it's a bit hard to do when you're jogging around at a stable pace of triplet sixteenths, doing laps around your backing. There are a few scattered slower moments, but if you want to make your instrument weep, you could really do it better. For practical examples, refer to other works of a certain dude I already advertised once in the comment. You get an all-in-one package with him ;] The completely random and insane ending was win – I'm a dog for unexplainable weirdness, and you hit the nail right on the head here :P *clapping noises*

Overall impressions – you can write stuff that's pretty darn good, but your insanely hyperactive, wanky leads ruin the impression for me. Try to tone down the technicality a bit, replace it with something a touch more melodic, and you're good to go. Whatcha gonna concoct for next comp, eh? :P

Rating: 3,5 stars

Posted by RumpyTheRubbuhChikin  {{ 30 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 04 Mar 2009 17:07

Rated as: 
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