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TAB   "Minor Disturbance"  -  9  COMMENTS  -  PAGE 1
Minor Disturbance      [GP4]   [123 hits]   [Version: 1]   [Id: 106262]
Artist: Open Competition Oct/Nov 2009
File Size: 13.3 KB     Number of Tracks: 6
Submitted by: stuckinastrom  (All tabs)  on 19 Oct 2009 04:57, commenting:
Competition Entry. Several different sections.
Validated by Generis Humani on 19 Oct 2009 11:43

Rating:  


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Well...
I don´t know if this is meant as a song or if it´s just a bunch of ideas mixed together.
Anyway, even if it is just an impression of the stuff you work on you should have connected it a bit better.
Everytime a new section starts it doesn´t seem to belong there. Just a random mix of ideas.
Can´t say to like the parts per se very much either. Intro and Outro are pretty annoying, at least to me. It sounds as if you put a random melody above random chords. But it´s not my kind of music so I may be to harsh...
Same for the rhythm section. The guitars ain´t very innovative, but that´s not even the problem. The stuff you tabbed for pad 1 sounds so terrible. It annoys when hearing it the first time.
The bass sections sound pretty accidental to me, as if you wanted it to have it in unusual meters and didn´t know how to fill them.

Anyway, I told you this music ain´t my cup of tea, so maybe I just don´t get it. Sorry to be that directly, but I think bad critcs are better than none.

Feel free to detach my song as well :D

PS: Btw I listened to some other stuff of yours. There you made a better job in composing. It all looks a bit raw for now, but that may be a lack of experience. Especially you should work on your transitions.

PPS:
I will rate at the end of the comp

Posted by Donkey of Steel  {{ 8 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 26 Oct 2009 08:27

Rated as: Unrated
Uh... yeah. This is interesting.

So this song starts off and I get the impression I'm listening to some strange jazz improvisation over unusual chord voicings, which, although I have no problem with, is severely lacking a rhythmic foundation.

And then the rhythmic part... comes in, and I'm listening to hair metal?

The bass section really stands out as something that could have been really cool, technically you could have elaborated on that to include a few bars of solos, then put back the keys... but... yeah.

I don't really understand any of this man, I have trouble wrapping my head around this. What style of music do you listen to? What style is this, anyway? I'm all for experimentation but linking sections together and managing dynamics (Energy levels) is crucial. Also, work on understanding how drums work into rhythmic structure, and time signatures, because a bad drum line can ruin a song in 10 seconds time. A simple but effective drum line does a great job, it doesn'T have to be complicated, but it has to express the energy you want from the riff properly, and accentuate the right parts.

I don't really know how to rate this, I'll give it 1.5 stars, for well... having some interesting chords and jazzy part in the beggining. What you need to work on though is creating a song, not creating different sections - think of when you write a story, it needs a coherent plot, a beggining, a middle section, and an ending, and it needs to flow properly, or people get confused and lose track.


Posted by JazzDeath  {{ 22 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 27 Oct 2009 17:59

Rated as: Unrated
Well this was more of a major disturbance, jk. All puns aside this sounds more like a idea than a completed score. There are some nice spots, some dissonance spots and some that are just, well there. It's short which adds to the sporadic nature even more. I agree that the rhythm section is weak mainly in the drums. They lively things up at all, in fact they bring the livelihood down.

I get the impression that this song is more of an experiment than a full fledged attempt at a complete song. Then again I could be wrong being that I haven't listened to anything else that you have written. There's a lot that can be added and the song could be extended a bit and be more structurally sound imo. This song has a more potential if you spend more time with it.

Posted by daniel9388  {{ 33 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 07 Nov 2009 02:48

Rated as: 
1,5 stars

Posted by Donkey of Steel  {{ 8 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 12 Nov 2009 05:34

Rated as: Unrated
I think there isn´t too much to add to the previous comments. The "Jazzy" intro was a good idea, but the last two measures before the drums enters, doesn´t seem to be right in tone or at least in an adequate dissonance. The rhythm section is an entire different song whose riff is repeated too much for my taste. The entire song has a major problem,it has no transitions at all; If the sections weren´t as different between them, I think some transitions weren´t needed. But in this case, they could help your song. Keep it in mind.
The pad over the bass section is a highlight in your song, but everything else need serious attention. My impression is that this isn´t the best that you can give, so I encourage you to work in your transitions, to define and work over some structural basis, and to be self-critical; Good luck and Keep working, is the only way to improve!
1 star

Posted by Colochinni  {{ 5 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 15 Nov 2009 13:56

Rated as: Unrated
Well, first off, I liked the beginning with that weird jazzy melody, although I think the new-age pad wasn't the best choice for the chords. Maybe strings, or even rhodes piano would have sounded better (actually I tried rhodes and I liked it). Also, change the bass, those B's don't match the chords, and dissonance is usually not good in bass.

Then, it degenerates into a exceedingly generic and mediocre trashy riff, with no transition whatsoever... sorry, does not compute. The bass section is mildly interesting, you try to bring back some of the jazz, and then the trashy riff comes back, but even worse since now it's in a poorly executed 5/4. And then, bass section again, with a shard of a guitar solo that starts ok but disappears all too soon... and then back to the jazzy intro to end, all too quickly and never giving time for the listener to get a grasp of what's being played.

Overall, as others said, this sounds more like a sketch than an actual song, some good ideas poorly developed and no flow whatsoever. A bit disappointing, since you have considerably better songs in your comp folder, I'll try to comment on some of those when I have time.

Rating: 1.5

Posted by |_JR_|  {{ 13 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 23 Nov 2009 03:32

Rated as: Unrated
Minor Disturbance - suckinastrom

Like the others, I find this a very weird song. I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but one has to wonder what this song is supposed to be.

The Intro got me interested, if only to see where you would go with it. Then wtf? Rhythm Section is just out of the blue, and doesn't fit, needless to say. Bass Section had potential, but using the same bassline throughout the whole thing sorta detracts it from what it could've been. Then there's an awkward transition to the Outro (over so soon???).

I think if you had developed the Intro and Outro to extend through the middle somewhat, and drop the Rhythm and Bass sections, this would be much better, if only for the continuity.

1.5 stars.

Posted by Quibokk  {{ 16 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 25 Nov 2009 04:09

Rated as: 
Well, everybody starts somewhere. You haven't been at this long, have you? This song reminds me of me in the early days, construction wise and in the way it's instrumented. The flow is nonexistant, there's some cool elements (funny dissonance that might or might not be accidental, a passable bass groove, a passable guitar riff). Not much more to say. Keep going. You'll get somewhere in due course.

2

Posted by RumpyTheRubbuhChikin  {{ 30 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 28 Nov 2009 11:57

Rated as: 
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah

Sorry, what's the point of this?

Really, the first 18 bars aren't bad at all, just weird. But when the rhythm sections strike... oh boy, this won't get any better. The bass section is better though, but creepy.

I really don't feel like writing anything here cause first, this has no structure at all and second, this feels more like a copy-paste of a few sketches.

Rate: 1.5

Posted by Daslaf  {{ 22 tabs / 0 corrections }}  on: 30 Nov 2009 11:45

Rated as: 
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